Sobriquet 62.18

I haven't been having the most productive of stretches. I had hoped to finish rereading Coetzee's Youth a day or two ago, but I found it remarkably difficult to focus on reading. Part of this difficulty has no doubt been the result of readjusting myself mentally to the routine of a new semester, which can be challenging for an individual like myself, who eschews waking up early in the morning yet regularly ends up with early-morning classes...

But school-adjustment (and its resulting fatigue) is only part of the problem. The other part is a mélange of extreme burnout, vocational anxiety, and a strange sense of unease with my current bit of writing. It's funny. What is arguably the easiest -- and according to some people -- the least important part of the dissertation, has turned out to be the most nerve-fraying part of the whole project. Perhaps this unpleasant emotion is simply the surfacing of all the negative feelings and worries I'd been able to ignore when the bulk of the project was unfinished, when the conclusion of grad school was still sitting at some as-yet unknown point in my future: I don't really know. Still, it has made working rather difficult at times.

At any rate, I have done more socializing over the past couple of days than I have in quite a while, which took up most of my weekend. This included an epic two-hour chess match (epic in length, I should say; neither I nor my opponent are particularly good at the game), a few nice meals, a lot of wonderful conversation, a bunch of music, some movies, and more conversation. The socializing I have enjoyed these past couple of days, fortunately, seems to have invigorated me a little bit and I finally made some real headway in my reading this evening. I intend to continue reading for a while this evening before going to bed and, hopefully, I can start February off on a positive note.

For tomorrow: Read, plan, and/or write.


minxy said…
February will be an excellent month for you because I say so! You will do wonderful work on your dissertation and will experience much productivity. You're doing a great job already, the likely conclusion is that you will continue to do so. That is your February horoscope from Miss Psycho Pep Squad. :)

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