Sobriquet 38.14

Today was a productive--though frustratingly long--day. I spent another four or five hours working on the second syllabus, effectively wiping myself out for the rest of the day. I did manage to read some more of The Master of Petersburg and write another page of the dissertation, but I am really not liking what I have been writing, or how I have been writing. I am hoping that with the new semester starting, the external structure I will be working within will help me shape my dissertation schedule in such a way as to enable me to have longer writing sessions. Despite the fact that the handful of people who have read what I have written thus far have only had nice things to say about the chapter-in-progress, I hate it. I suppose that once my adviser takes a look at it and either approves or disapproves of what I have done thus far, I will know whether or not I should, in fact, hate what I have written. But that's how I feel about it at the moment. I think I'm doing what I should be doing, but I struggle with doubts constantly as I write this thing. Which is why I would rather write 3 or 4 or 5 pages in one day, take a few days' break from the effort to read or whatnot, and resume again...sort of like how a starting pitcher needs rest between starts...

For tomorrow: Yeah...tomorrow's gonna be packed, so I do not expect to get much done. If I cannot find the time or energy to write any more, I would at least like to get some bibliographical work taken care of. I would also like to read another two chapters in The Master of Petersburg.


minxy said…
I think you may be putting too much pressure on yourself. What you've written so far is not bad. Hell, if I can read it and make sense of it, it can't be bad. I say that as a person who does not read academic-type writing, not as a way to demean my own intelligence. So, take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Everything is going to be ok.

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